sm64:misadventures of stupidity
by dimentio charming magician96
Summary: when dimentio56 is hired to be a body guard for peach, he is sent into many misadventures, R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**me:ok this is my new fanfic, enjoy and r and r**

chapter 1: arriving, week old chilidogs, and the blue screen of death

it was a not so nromalk day for a certian jester in the mushroom kingdom, he had been invited to be the princesses body guard at peaches castle, and he took the offer, as long as he got to see his friends at castle bleck he was fine with it, he packed his things and set off...

*some hours later*****

dimentio56 collapsed at the dorrway as his suitcase made a loud CLONK by his side, notifying the whole nine yards that he had arrived.

mario opened the door and looked down at the passed out jester." um peach? did you order a new rug?, because if you did it arrived...why white and yellow though?" mario said as peach walked over to the front door to see what he meant." rug?...i didn't order a rug mario i-oh my..we better get him inside..."peach said as she and mario lifted dimentio56 from the ground.

*meanwhile...*

the irken friend of dimentio56 known as invaderstar29, star or star29 for short was playing poker with toad in the lobby of the castle as peach and mario carried the downed clown through the door.". . .4 pair"toad said as he revealed his cards."full house! I WIN!"star29 shouted as he got the 100 coin pot." . . .forget this..im going to play unreal tournament..."toad muttered as he walked off.

star counted the coins as he heard shouting coming from the room where the computer is, also where the 3 paintings of peach are..."Schneller geladen werden! Ich will spielen verdammt Unreal Tournament! Das Spiel laden!" toad shouted at the computer as the irken teen walked in."good grambi, and i thought zim was loud, whats wrong fungus kid?"." the game wont load it wo-DAMMIT!" toad said as the computer blue screened. and toad began beating the crap out of it.

*meanwhile in a diffrent room, the room to bob omb battlefeild*

while star29 was calming the pissed off toad down, peach tried to wake dimentio56 , while mario was eating pasta in a corner."hmm...mario how can we wake him?"peach asked over the slurps of mario."hmm...i know!"mario said as he dashed over and stuck a chilidog in front of the jester, slowely the jester awoke, and saw the chilidog."is that a chilidog?" he asked."yep! one week old!"mario answered with gleeful ran to the kitchen which was in the jolly roger bay painting roomand vomited into the empty sink as peach ran after him to clean it up, mario threw the expired frank out th window, where it put an arm around the jesters slumped shoulders to comfort him as he emptied his stomach, he stopped , cleaned his mouth off and peach rinsed the sink out as dimentio walked into the room where the two others where , and sat on the bed that was in there, panting from pure exuastion. peach walked over to the jester and sat by him, toad and star29 were trying to fix the computer and didn't notice the two."you ok?"she asked dimentio56."yea..i feel pretty hungry though..." he said as he soon felt better."well you did empty your whole stomach into my sink, so of course your hungry."she responded."oh, yea..sorry about that" dimentio56 said."nah, its ok, lets get you some food"she said as her and dimentio56 left the room leaving the other two to try to fix the computer.

"ok see the disk goes here"star29 told toad."nuh uh it goes here" the fungus person said as he pointed to the dvd rom driveand the two began to fight, making a classic fight cloud. mario was taking a shower in front of the lethal lava land painting in a random shower, when luigi appeared by him."HAI MARIO!" luigi shouted scaring him. "AHHHHH!" mario said as he punched luigi out of the shower." oh hi luigi...im trying to shower, go be gay somewhere else.." masrio said as he continued showeringand luigi walked off to somewhere else.

*in the computer room*

toad and star finnaly stopped fighting as the computer loaded up, the windows 98 logo apearing on loaded up unreal tournament when suddenly it blue screened. _a fatal error has accored, all open programs will be terminated _

_press any key to-$RD#R$^ %T^%T %$ T%$CFRHGHVDNHN_

the screen said. "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" toad shouted in darth vader fashion.

END OF CHAPTER

**me: soooo? how was it? post your reviews in that little review box and tell me what you thought. no flames plz dimentio96 out...**


	2. Chapter 2

**me:ok so chapter 1 is done... how did u guys like it? well here chapter 2 r&r**

**samusaran101:COOKIES!**

**me: ._. **

**star29: MAH COOKIES!**

**samusaran101:*puppy face***

**star29:ohh fine..here*gives cookies*  
samusaran101:^_^**

**me:on to da fanfic!  
**

chapter 2:wake up call, the job discription , and dimentio56's hammer

dimentio56 woke up, yawned and sat up, he had slept in the computer room, aka peaches mirror room."hi d56!" mario shouted from the other side of the bed."WHAT THE? GET OUT OF MY BED MARIO!" dimentio56 shouted as he chased mario out of the room, pulling out a large gold and white hammer that resembled amy's piko piko hammer in almost every way, and he began trying to whack mario with it."AAAAAHHHHHH HAAAALLLLPPPP!" peach heard as she was making breakfast in the kitchen, where the jolly roger bay painting was."hmm, could that be mario?" she wondered as star29 was eating bacon and eggs and he answered her question."hmm probaly, and from the sound of that whack, i'd say that dimentio56 pulled out his hammer, and boy is that hammer big heheh" star29 said as he finished eating."where did he get such a big hammer?"peach asked over the whacking of the hammer and mario's shouts."well... he is good friends with a particular pink hedgehog whom has a big hammer and tails made one for him"."oh well i wonder what mario did to set him off..." peach said."HE SLEPT IN MY BED, THATS WHAT HE DID!" dimentio56 said as he as he chased mario around the kitchen with his hammer."peach help me!" mario said as dimentio almost got him with the hammer." nope, you brought it on your self mario" peach said as dimentio56 and mario ran out of the room. dimentio56 whacked mario , sending the plumber out of the castle and into the moat. he walked into the kitchen, and had a bit of bacon and eggs."mmmmmmmm pretty good cooking peach" dimentio56 complimented as he rinsed his plate off in the sink." why thank you dimentio56"peach said as she slightly blushed. mario walked in soaking wet and said "peach why do you keep that jester around?". "well mario, he's my body guard." she answered."your WHAT?!" mario shouted in confusion." my body guard mario, to keep villians like bowser from kidnapping me." she explained."..." was marios response as he proceeded to go shower in the basement." um dimentio56, you mind putting the hammer away?" peach asked."oh.. heheh right" dimentio56 answered as he put it away, and walked to go do somthing."hmm i better go join him"star29 said as he followed dimentio56.

END OF CHAPTER!  
**me: BLAH BLAH BLAH R&R :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**me:hey guys, im writing few more chapters, to make up for ones that i havent written.i would like to thank**

**acro111(she convinced me to return to fanfiction after i amost left)**

**kookielover98(my friend, and first reviwer from my first fanfiction :3)  
invaderstar29(he's my best friend in irl, and has been there for me, thanks man)**

**samusaran101(i met her when she reviewed one of my stories, and she was a fanfiction noob,kind of, but ive helped her to where she has gotten good reviews...even more than me...)**

**hailythezombiequeen(for all the great conversations, that were partially in german sometimes, thank goodness i know a bit, but if my knoledge of german fails me, theres always google translator, thank you haily)**

**thegreatmikeyweston, and crazyrandomgurl(who inspired me to write my first fanfiction, even if it sucked , and was a slightly sad attempt at humor, still, thank you both)**

**point is thank you all!**

**me:so..on to the chapter!**

**chapter 3:mario gets kidnapped , like an idiot**

mario stood outside peaches castle, napping, when...

"ooh icecream!"mario shouted as he ran for an icecream truck that was parked outside the castle."do "do you have spagettin icecream?"mario asked the driver."in fact i do, come to the back of the truck..." the driver said as he smiled."ok!"mario said as he ran to the back of the truck, where the driver grabbed mario, and cloroformed him, and put him in the back of the driver drove off, kidnapping mario...

3 hours later...

peach walked around in her castle, why you may ask?, well it was because it was quiet..and..it was never completely quiet..with mario around... .dimrntio56 and star walked out of dimentio56's room."hey peach, you seen mario, i made him spagetti, and he hasnt rushed at me for it...:/"dimentio56 said as star29 was playing on his i pod."no.. i was gonna ask you where mario is also..hmm we should go check outside..."peach said as they all went out front.

/meanwhile...

it was dimlitted, when mario woke up..., the plumber got up, and observed his sorrounding, it was completely dark, save for one dim lightbulb...

...suddenly, all the lights flashed on, hurtiung the plumbers eyes."where am i?"mario said ashe noticed that he was in an empty room.a tv flashed on, showing the siluete of someone."hello mario enjoy your nap?"."actually yes..i did" mario responded."anyways..i have put you here, to get through my trails...if you win..you go free..you lose...well lets not talk about if you lose..heheheheheh" the person said as the tv turned off. mario saw a door behind him, and he opened it, walking in another empty room, with only a pipe in it._unclog me_ was written on a note, on the pulled out a plunger, and unclogged it, and water spurted out in marios face., mnario went down the pipe...waiting for ther other side...

meanwhile at peaches castle...

"oh no, marios been kidnapped!"peach said as she saw tire trio followed the tire tracks to a building in the city. the 3 walked in through the door, and looked around. it was a little empty, but they saw a door saying employes only. they opened the door, and saw many moniters of screen, of diffrent areas of the one screen, mario was being chased by a group of ponies."hahahahahahah!so funny!" an unkwon person said , as they fell from the chair. the person was none other than...dr mario...

"dr mario?"the 3 said in unison."oh yes its me.. and im here to claim my fame... no more being in marios shadow... ima be rich!"."but why did you kidnap mario?" peach asked."because, he was famous... and no one apreciated me... i had noo new games.. all because the plumber starred in a bunch... now..ima be a famous agian!"dr mario said."star, dimentio56 go get mario, im going to take care of the doctor" peach said as dimentio 56 and star ran off..

while peach and dr mario fought, strar and dimentio56 grabbed mario, and ran from a group of ponies."aah! ponies! run faster!"dimentio 56 shouted. they ran , and go to the door, and ran in it, slamming it after.

peach whacked the pills back at dr mario with her frying pan, until obe hit dr mario."OOF!" dr mario said in defeat."ok..ok.. you win..."."oh..were notr done yet...boys.. bring the makeup and the dress..." pewach said with a sinistar smile."WWWWAAHHHHHHHH"dr mario screamed as peach began dr marios make over.

1 hour later...

while dr mario was left knocked out, and looked like girl, peach and the others relaxed in her castle...

**END OF CHAPTER!  
me:ok... R&R!**


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